Thursday, May 27, 2010

Up-Date

I figured out how to change the settings on my blog to reflect the correct time and date. Yeah for me!

Today was my most stressful day so far. It was really bad. I was a little worried when mom went to sleep at 11 and was only awake a couple of times until 6, then back to bed at 7:30 for the night. The hour and a half she was awake, she was very confused. She tries to talk but it doesn't make any sense. The Reds had just came on and she asked Rhonda if her girls ever went to Cueto's (Johnny Cueto was pitching for the Red tonight). Rhonda asked her to repeat it and she did. Rhonda said she didn't understand and mom told her it was that guys house up behind her house. Just one example. Once when she was talking she looked at me and said, "I'm talking crazy. I am just so tired." I guess I thought when people got this way they didn't know any different but she knows that she isn't making sense.

I leave tomorrow. I am worried about the weekend. I don't think they will do surgery if she is this bad. We really don't know what to do.

12:00 NOON

A good morning. Another Home Health Nurse came by. She hasn't lost any weight since yesterday (good). She just dozed off at 10:30 when some neighbors came by. I had the door open and they could see her sleeping in the chair but they knocked anyway and she tried to talk but was a little distant. Then her sister came by, she slept off and on while she was here. She is officially napping now. I closed the door and took the phone away. Hopefully she can sleep a couple of hours.

Guilt: she wants me to stay here. She feels like she can sleep and rest and eat better when I am here. I feel I should go home to see Hannah and Larry for the weekend. I plan on coming back on Monday evening and then be here to take her to Columbus on Thursday for the surgery prep.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Granny Up-Date

The Home Health visit wiped her out. She slept from 12:15-5:30. She ate some of my homemade chicken salad (yeah for protein), drank an Ensure Plus, took a shower, sat outside awhile and went to bed around 9.

Another nurse comes tomorrow at 9AM. I need sleep.

At the wonderful suggestion of Gwen, I think we should plan to have a family (and non-family) fast for Granny on Sunday. Lots of prayers her way for a good 12 days and then a successful surgery.

4:11

Good News! Good News! Good News!
The surgeon called and said he would come back early from the big Urology Conference next week and do my moms surgery on Friday, June 4. Now, we just have to keep her up and going, and a little stronger, until then. I am thankful for little blessings.

She is pooped today. Slept while I ran errands and I read every bread label and food label in Walmart to see what she would eat with lots of protein. Tonight, chicken salad 23 g. protein on wheat bread 4 g. protein.

Good News!

12:30

On the way to the bank. It has been driving mom nuts that she has two checks here to go to the bank. Also running to get something for dinner.

Good morning. Home Health came by. Did an assessment. They are going to check her oxygen level to see if she needs some oxygen part/full time.

She weighs 151, so sad. Most of it is muscle loss.

Her mind is functioning well today but she is super tired after the long Home Health visit.

I got her to drink an Ensure Plus and one big glass with stuff to help build muscle mass.

Off to the store.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Today While the Blossoms Still Cling to the Vine

John Denver song.

Granny did a little better today. Stayed awake more, ate some, drank the juice to help build muscle mass.

Still waiting for the surgeon to call. Home Health will come tomorrow to do an assessment.

I am doing great. It is super great to help your mom in such a way. I am so blessed to have a husband who is understanding and a daughter, Hannah who is so mature she can be left on her own, kids who call to check on us. I am blessed.

Whirlwinds

I feel like I am in a whirlwind, tornado, hurricane, earthquake, whatever. I am in Ohio again taking care of my mom. She has kidney cancer. Was supposed to have the kidney removed last week but was too weak and confused for the surgery. We were sent home to "get her strong" whatever that is supposed to mean. She has been losing weight consistantly since January, of course she is going to be weak and remain weak until that cancer is out. Here is our run-around:
The kidney has to come out
The lung cancer is spreading
She is too weak for surgery
Doctor WON'T opperate
Get her stronger
She is weak, no appetite
Go back to doctor
Kidney has to come out
Lung cancer is spreading
She is too weak for surgery
Doctor WON'T opperate
*you get the point?

It is hard to force your mom to eat. It is easier to let her peacefully rest. I want her to fight to live, to do what is hard (eat, go outside, sit in the chair instead of laying in bed) but I feel such compassion for her and what this disease is doing to her.

I love being able to pay back (somewhat) for all my mom has done for me. She is amazing and I am praying we can make it through this next few weeks, have the surgery and we will have her with us a few more years. Prayer is the key.