Sunday, September 26, 2010

I LOVE YOU

I just finished a book that was recommended by my son James. It had a few bad parts so I wouldn't recommend it but I came away with the overwhelming feeling to tell those I love that I love them. I am sure the people that read my blog are the people I love most. I love you.

I love my friends. I thought about listing them but I know I would forget someone. I have special friends that can truly bring me out of a funk when we get together. I always feel better about myself when I am with them. I have friends that have taught me things like how to can fruit, how to sew, how to cook, how to share, how to make the gospel the center of my life.

I love my sister and brothers. I wish we lived closer (my fault) and I wish life weren't so demanding that I could talk to them every day, and I wish we were close enough to talk every day. That love never leaves though. They are forever connected to me and we share so much past. My siblings got the best of the gene-pool and I got the left-overs. They are all talented, smart, beautiful. I love them.

I love my mom. She gave so much so her kids could have so much more. All my life I have wanted to make her proud of me. I want to be a good mom and I wanted her to recognize it. Her impact on my role as a mother has been immeasurable. Until 5 months ago, I still called her on a regular basis with questions. I miss her.

I love my husband. I don't think I ever realized how much I loved him until recently. With the loss of my mom, I have realized how much I need and love him. He is my strength. I don't do so well without him by my side. He is the greatest.

I love my husbands family. He has great parents that raised a great man. They love us and our family. They have taught us so much and have been so patient with us as we have struggled to raise our family.

I love my children. This love is so deep and woven throughout every fiber of my being. I love them so much it hurts. I love them so much that I find myself continually thinking of them and saying little prayers for them. Lord, please bless Amanda as she struggles to raise her little ones with a husband in a demanding grad program. Please bless Sarah with strength during this pregnancy, bless Brad on his school work, in his new marriage. Bless James so far away. Please bless him to know how much I love him over this distance between us. Bless Hannah that she won't be exposed to so many evils in the world. Bless her to be strong. Bless them all to be happy, right where they are in life. Bless them to know what is important and seek after those things. Bless them to know I would do anything within my power to help them and I love them. That love fills my chest until it truly hurts. It aches for them, it swells with pride to the point of pain, it rejoices in their successes and I sometimes wonder how my body holds all the love I have for them. They are my life, they are what I have lived for and what keeps me going. They are the greatest and I want them to know, I LOVE YOU!

I love other things and people too. I love deeply but find it hard to express that love to others. I tend to bury it in the day to day activities that I busy myself with. Just because I don't say it, doesn't mean it isn't true.

3 comments:

Searls Stuff said...

I am glad you were motivated to do something touching, sentimental, and of value. When I was in the hospital with the clots in my thigh & lung, I wasn't worried about death. I was worried about the mess my files were in and how someone would have to go through them if I did die! I think my priorities are a bit skewed because I cleaned out my files when I should have been telling my family how much they mean to me. Thanks for the reminder of what is important.

Jims Porter said...

Thanks, mom. I love you, too.

The book, by the way, is worth reading. It's titled Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by author Jonathan Safran Foer.

Sarah Harward said...

We love you too mom. Thanks for sharing!